…Air Out

Happy Eat Outside Day! As the end of summer rapidly approaches, it makes sense that today would be dedicated to spending some extra time in the great outdoors.

But before you get all excited about your “holiday” that is celebrated pretty much every day that the temperature gets above 60, allow me to briefly rain on your hypothetical picnic.

Eating outside is the worst. I realize this is not a popular opinion, but hear me out. I’m as big a fan of summer cookouts and barbecues as the next person, but the reality of actually eating outside I can’t get behind.

First of all, there never seems to be a comfortable way to eat outside. With the exception of eating on a restaurant patio, outdoor dining seems to involve contorting ourselves into uncomfortable positions and usually sitting on the ground. Which leads me to my next point, it’s dirty and there are bugs.

Even if you are lucky enough to be sitting at a table, odds are you’ll have to swat away a few flies and/or bees, and guard your meal from a passing breeze looking to impart some extra flavor (dirt) to your dish. And for those who suffer from allergies, enjoy that sprinkling of pollen and other assorted allergens.

As a city dweller, other negatives also come into play. In addition to the previously mentioned dirt, bugs, and allergens, there’s also a lot of extra noise. So while enjoying the “fresh” air you can also enjoy the sound of passing traffic and the joy of shouting your entire conversation over it.

In conclusion, I would like to refer you back to my initial statement — eating outside is the worst. That being said, enjoy the gorgeous weather while it lasts. And if dining al fresco floats your boat, go for it.


…just for fun:

Case in point…

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Posted on August 31, 2017, in Humor, News, Opinion and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. bah, humbug, Mr. Scrooge…swollen, light-sensitive eyes are a small price to pay for not being able to breathe while eating…

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