This Sunday, “The Walking Dead” returns for the second half of its fifth season, and that is all I’m going to say about it.
Sure, I could tell you that this “What to Watch Wednesday” is the perfect time to start enjoying this fantastic story, set in the most desolate (yet fantastic) of futures.
I’ve wasted plenty of breath trying to convince people who “don’t like zombie stories” that “The Walking Dead” is different, that they just need to give it a chance. I’ve re-framed the zombie-ness as an extreme case of leprosy (that sets in after you’ve already died). I’ve eloquently spelled out the zombies as a metaphor for living an unfulfilled life.
I’ve tirelessly campaigned for the lowness of zombies on the monster-threat totem pole. Think about it: zombies are like vampires, if vampires moved at a snail’s pace and announced themselves by groaning and walking into things a quarter-mile off. I’ve said it before, if you can hold a brisk walking pace, you can out-run a zombie. Just avoid corners.
Sure, worst case scenario you’ve spent an hour witnessing some great storytelling, acting, and effects, all while being thoroughly entertained and learning apocalyptic survival tips. For instance: when grabbing canned goods, always remember pudding comes in cans too. Who knew? But it’s cool, you don’t like zombies.
I’d say spoiler alert, but if you haven’t been watching the show, this clip from the first two minutes of Sunday’s premiere will probably mean nothing to you:
Also, this awesomeness: