All good things must end, and this week that thing is the Summer of Blockbusters 2012…we’ll pause for your moment of grief…Okay crying time’s over.
It was a good run. For those keeping track, yes this summer was longer than the Summer of Blockbusters 2011. We just didn’t want to give up on it. Because, as we’ve mentioned before, this Summer of Blockbusters was seriously lacking. Seriously, Hollywood. Seriously.
However, we admit that we did skip over some “gems” and in the interest of transparency we’d like to explain why:
- Stephanie: The summer movie selection process is one that involves scheduling, interest, and quantifying the general ratio of stupidity to quality storytelling. This one didn’t make the cut. I’ll let you decide why.
- Zer: At first glance, this movie has everything you could possibly want in a summer blockbuster—aliens, explosions, big name stars—what more could you ask for? At second, third and fourth (you get the picture) glance, it just looks like nearly two hours of your life that you can never get back.
- Stephanie: If we had been rating based on awesome trailer appearances by Chuck Norris, this one would have won. Unfortunately that was not a determining factor. Sorry guys.
- Zer: This one was really a perfect storm. We were contractually obligated to review “ParaNorman.” We couldn’t get a hold of a copy of “The Expendables” (and what’s the point if you haven’t seen the first one?). And on top of that, Stephanie is allergic to films starring Sylvester Stallone and Chuck Norris (it’s a deadly combination)…okay, so we just really had no desire to see this movie.
- Stephanie: I believe that this movie is better than I thought it was going to be. I have no doubt that that’s true, but “The Amazing Spider-Man,” “Brave,” and “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” all trump Channing Tatum. Sorry girls.
- Zer: Unlike Stephanie, I do not have high hopes for this movie exceeding my expectations. While I’m sure in the realm of male stripper movies, this is one of the best; in my mind it doesn’t fall into the same category as the traditional summer blockbuster.
- Stephanie: I fully plan on watching this when it gets its well-deserved weekend on TBS. Love the concept, wasn’t in the scheduling cards.
- Zer: What’s not to love about a talking Teddy Bear who curses like a sailor? I have no idea, but I’ll just have to wait until “Ted” comes out on DVD. This comedy fell victim to the weeks of “The Amazing Spider-Man”, “Brave” and “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.”
- Stephanie: This looks like a good stupid but smart movie, but it came out the same day as “The Bourne Legacy.” Action flick starring Jeremy Renner wins in this case. My apologies to Mr. Ferrell and Mr. Galifianakis.
- Zer: This one is fairly easy to explain. In the world of summer blockbusters, the “Bourne” flick trumps the political comedy every time.
P.S.–One last note to Hollywood, there is a serious scheduling conflict surrounding the release dates of “The Hobbit” and “Les Miserables.” We’re sure you just haven’t noticed. Could you work on that? We don’t want to resort to a coin toss, but we will. Thanks.
P.P.S–We’ll also accept passes to early screenings and premieres.