Blog Archives

…Take A Seat

Posted by Zer

If you watched the Olympics this weekend, you may have noticed something odd about many of the events. No one was watching.

Even at popular events such as swimming and gymnastics, there was a noticable lack of fans in the stands.

It’s not due to a lack of enthusiasm. On Saturday, over 1 million spectators lined the course of the mens 155-mile bike race.

Needless to say, the hundreds of thousands who failed to obtain tickets through the complicated lottery system are a bit peeved (and rightly so).

With more than 7 million tickets sold, it’s hard to imagine that any seats would be empty.

The finger of blame has been pointed everywhere from event organizers to advertisers. Yet, no one seems to know who the mysterious “no show” ticket holders are.

To temporarily solve the problem, seats were given to British troops (security) and school children (non-threats to security).

However, the mystery ticket holders remain at large. If they’re looking for someone to take those tickets off your hands, I can think of a few.
_________________________________________

There are certain things you expect when you go to the movies–over-priced tickets, over-priced popcorn, and hopefully a movie that moves you… preferably artistically and not to tears over the obscene cost of going to the movies.

A man in Michigan was driven to more than weeping (over sentimental movies or over-priced concessions I can’t say) after a recent trip to his local AMC. He’s suing the establishment for charging him $8 for a soda and a box of Goobers.

I would call this a ridiculous and frivolous lawsuit and tell the guy to skip the snack line if it’s that big a deal, but the theater owner decided to put his two-cents in to this wonderful melting pot of theatrical drama.

So, just how do you justify a $4 soda? You don’t, but this guy tried by telling a beautiful tale, a tale about the journey of a popcorn seed. Just think about all of the lives that popcorn kernel has touched, think of the places it has been…on second thought don’t think of the places it’s been…or the places it’s going.

Basically the guy attempted a metaphor that turned in to a complaint about the messiness of his customers…but really people, would it kill you to throw your own trash away.

Anyways, I want to know where the metaphor about the journey of the Coca-Cola is. I want the tale of that drop of H2O that began it’s life in the babbling brooks of Narnia only to end up fusing your shoe to the theater floor, causing you to stumble as you try to exit the theater, and get out of the way of the cleaning staff that was all made possible by the journey of that one popcorn kernel, that’s now stuck to your shoe.

And that kids, is why your Goobers cost $4.

You know what, I get it, a theater owner’s gotta do what a theater owner’s gotta do. He’s gotta make an 85% profit. I’ve gotta bring my giant purse to the movies…it completes the ensemble.

__________________________________________

“Movie-Theater Owner Tries to Justify $4 Fountain Soda”: TIME

…bi-daily smile…