Dear Academy Awards Telecast:
I have a question for you. Do you hate happiness? Do you strive to see if it is in fact possible to use film to bore millions of viewers at home to death.
Well then, why on earth would you cut the Muppets… I mean best song performances? What did Kermit do to you? Or was it that blue bird from Rio? What did he say?
I know what your reason is, it’s always the same–saving time. I assumed that’s what the stingy nominee list was for. It’s only two songs after all: “Real in Rio” (Rio) and “Man or Muppet” (The Muppets).
Combined, the two songs come in under seven minutes although something tells me you brilliant masters of broadcast can cut a few verses out of the Rio song…don’t touch the brilliance of The Muppets, your nominating counterparts already failed to acknowledge it beyond a song nomination.
I know this is a very serious business where difficult decisions have to be made. If the price for saving time is cutting the most realistic opportunity for a Muppet appearance from your telecast than it’s not worth it.
Remember the destination is not always as important as the journey. True, at the end of the telecast we’ll still know who the elite few thought were the best of the best as selected by an even fewer elite, regardless of whether or not we heard a happy (and deeply insightful) tune (or two) along the way.
If I thought it was beyond hope I wouldn’t even bother, but this situation can be amended. So, I leave you with just one question: Are you a man (or woman) or are you a Muppet?
A very disgruntled fan of movies, music, and Muppets
p.s. Truth be told, this latest blow is one of several complaints 2WC would like to lay against the Academy Awards…but that’s for another blog (prepare yourselves).
“Will Neither Man Nor Muppet Sing at the Oscars?”: New York Times (blog)