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…Sanitize

A startling trend has been discovered by the LA Times. Teenagers are using hand sanitizer to get drunk.

Shocking, I know, in the last few months six teenagers have shown up in area emergency rooms with hand sanitizer induced alcohol poisoning.

And as we all know six teenagers equals a trend. Of course, they’re only half way to a fad (12), and still miles away from an all out craze (18).

But on a slightly more serious note, I’d like to address the teens.

Really? Hand sanitizer?

What happened to raiding and watering down your parents’ liquor cabinet?

I just hope the six of you remember this in a few years when you’re complaining about how Purell is ridiculously over-priced, and requires a permit and note from your doctor to purchase.

You’ll only have yourselves to blame.
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More on the Story: LA Times

…just for fun:

…Pass the Purell

Are you ready for flu season?

Are you ready for flu season?

Happy flu season everyone!  Once again it’s that magical time of year when mass hysteria spreads throughout the land.  From October through April(ish) calm, descent people are transformed into crazed lunatics as they shove their way to the front of the line for their flu vaccinations. 

It’s just like the holiday season.  Except instead of giving and receiving gifts, you give dirty looks to anyone who sneezes in your general vicinity and receive antiviral drugs.  If you’ve been shopping on “Black Friday” you know the “crazed lunatics” label still applies to the holiday season.

With the exciting addition of the H1N1 virus, this season is already shaping up to be the best year ever!  Thank goodness the world seems prepared for this difficult time.  Armed with just their wits, vitamin overdosed immune systems, surgical masks, gallon size Purell bottles, Clorox wipes, and Lysol spray, germaphobes around the world are bravely facing this crisis head on.

 Flu season can be a scary time for those who don’t know how to panic properly.  This year especially, it’s important to know the correct irrational behavior to display when confronted with a potential flu situation (which of course is every situation). 

The number one (and only) rule is that the flu is everywhere, so be sure to wash your hands after touching anything.  The flu is airborne too, so just to be safe you should also wash your hands after not touching anything.  On second thought, why don’t you just go with a hazmat suit (available in fashion colors!).

Keep this rule in mind and you’ll have a wonderfully hysterical flu season.  Oh, and don’t forget to spread the spirit of the season to that sniffling stranger behind you on the train/bus/sidewalk.

 

Some more sound advice  on how to panic over the H1N1 virus this flu season.

*Disclaimer: “The Two Woman Crusade” does not promote the use of a particular brand of hand sanitizer.  We do, however, promote the use of alliteration whenever possible.

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