Happy Labor Day to one and all!
Labor Day is a national holiday that not only gives us one last glorious summer day off, but also celebrates the economic and social contributions of workers, many of whom are still working today.
In honor of the day I thought I’d take a moment to acknowledge a recent contribution to the working world, courtesy of BIC and their groundbreaking new product: Pens for Her…
Dear Good Sirs,
Greetings and salutations from the ladies of the world. We write to you this day because, thanks to your brilliantly marketed “Pens for Her”, we are now able to put pink, purple, and other assorted femininely colored pens to paper, which is still hopelessly masculine (could you work on that?), and properly tell you what we think of you.
For so long we have labored to appropriately catalog our thoughts on life, as much as those thoughts pertain to sewing, cooking, cleaning, etiquette, gardening, and other activities of a suitably dainty nature. Dictation was always an option, but who has the time and the man power for that?
Of course, when confiding our deepest darkest secrets in our diaries, after weeping over the latest heartbreak or broken nail, we’ve been able to make do with ornately dressed pens, complete with fluffy, sparkly pink pom-poms, and there’s usually an appropriately ladylike quill lying around. Yet, in a world full of writing tools so blatantly marketed towards men, where was a poor girl to turn?
You saw our endless struggle and you took up the call. All of that battling for equality throughout (far too recent) history and even still today–the fight for women’s rights, suffrage, equal pay, and equal say in other things–It’s all been a cry for help, a cry for something more, a cry for lady pens.
No more must we suffer through the indecency, and indignity of pens made for man hands. No longer must we grapple with those blandly colored instruments. We’ve seen the light and it’s pastel with a rubber grip! Thank you.
Ladies of the World
(Feminine Fingers Unite!)
“Bic ‘Lady Pens’ Unleash Amazon Snarkfest”: Washington Post Blog
If you’re looking for recent, curiously specific studies then have I got some good news for you. One such research effort found that eBay pages with the color red on them made consumers more likely to bid higher.
Because the color red is so notorious for creating calm, logical, strategic thought processes.
No offense red. I love you, I do, but you are not a calming, reassuring color. Bulls (who are color blind to be fair) chase you. You represent debt, anger, and the greatest team in baseball (so you have one thing going for you).
But good for you, you’ve found your niche–inciting panicked purchases. Clearly a large part of the population responds to stress by clicking “buy.” Wait, now it makes sense.
Based on these findings it’s a miracle anyone ever buys anything on Amazon. They have their color scheme all wrong. What were they thinking with that golden-yellow and crisp white?
Still, as a notorious over-thinking shopper, the only time red encourages me to make a purchase is when it’s accompanied by a Cardinal’s logo.
“Using Red on eBay Pages Results in Higher Bids”: The Atlantic
You can do just about anything on the Internet nowadays–buy, sell, share intimate details about your life that (trust me, I say this with the utmost respect) very few of us want to know, and so much more.
So it may come as a surprise to some that there still are some standards. Yes, it’s true there are some things you cannot do on the Internet.
So, what’s something you can’t do on the Internet? Sell your soul on eBay (no word on Amazon’s policy on such transactions).
This is not news. The website set this incredibly specific standard back in 2000. It falls under their policy which bans the auctioning of human parts and remains (slightly more disturbing), and of course presents an ideological discussion concerning the existence of the soul which we could talk around all day, but that’s another blog.
You may be appalled that anyone would try to sell their soul in general, but morality and ideology aside, what I find most disturbing is the fact that people bid on souls on eBay.
I think we could make quick-work of finding many of the sadists (possibly Satan himself) out there by rounding up the eBay soul bidders. You have to be desperate (for attention or other things) to sell your soul, but you have to be truly twisted to bid on one.
“Turns Out You’re Not Allowed to Sell Your Soul on eBay”: Business Insider
On this the day which a large rodent has sentenced us to six more weeks of winter (assuming we’ve had any), I have a classic tale for you. It’s a feel good story for the ages.
In the great struggle that is the modern publishing industry two players have come to the forefront:
One, a giant retailer of books, movies, music, shoes, clothes, gardening equipment, groceries, and now publisher of books…Amazon.
The other, just a small, giant retailer of books, movies, and music trying to make it in a world of e-readers, with just its wits, words, and Nooks (they’re e-readers)…Barnes & Noble.
It’s a classic battle of giant corporation vs. faltering giant corporation…I said it was a feel good story.
In their ongoing quest to do everything, Amazon has recently begun not only selling , but publishing them as well. This has others in the book industry worried.
With the industry declining, the few book outlets left (R.I.P. Borders) are worried about competing with Amazon already. Now with Amazon’s role expanding from simply competitor to client, they’re really worried.
Not willing to quite give up the battle for book dominance, Barnes & Noble, has taken a bold step–not selling Amazon’s books.
To put that in playground vernacular: nanny nanny boo boo.
Unfortunately, they probably can catch you Barnes & Noble. Godspeed.
“Barnes & Noble says it won’t stock Amazon titles”: USA Today
Welcome to 2WC Cyber Monday edition. Prepare yourself for no deals, no bargains, and no unbelievable savings. However we do have some holiday season sanity advice for you at 50 percent off the original price.
Just remember that today, although an exciting day for online deals, is still Monday. So be sure to growl at your computer when you get that stand mixer at 48 percent off.
And it seems only fair, given that this day rivals Black Friday in the great echelon of holiday shopping days, that you throw an elbow or two as you nab a great deal on the item of the hour. I wouldn’t recommend pulling the mace on your Mac though. It won’t end well.
I of course assume that you formed a queue behind your PC that wrapped around the block a few times and started forming on Saturday afternoon. It’s traditional for obsessive compulsive shopping I believe. Without our traditions what do we have really?
Now all that’s left to do is shop. Just take it easy on your computer/tablet/smart phone/etc. alright. It has a tough day ahead of it. Double-clicking, shouting at the monitor, or slamming it down on the desk will not make your transaction go any faster.
Save the open and uncalled for hostility for when it really matters. Like when that friendly sales person has the nerve to talk to you while you’re chatting on your phone in line.
I don’t want to squelch the Christmas spirit or anything. Keep the giving spirit just lose the ‘tude. Your computer doesn’t need it, and neither does the gal/guy behind the counter.
“Cyber Monday, Green Tuesday…Black Friday Isn’t the Only Game in Town”: MSNBC
just a friendly reminder…