Category Archives: Uncategorized
…count on it
Well, now that the television death sentences have been handed out (RIP SMASH…your time has come), it’s time to look ahead to the new. Over the past few days the major networks have been announcing their fall lineups.
For FOX that announcement included a special 12 episode return this summer of their hit show “24.”
Now, I haven’t actually watched the show, but I do know that basic premise is that one season of the hour-long drama was 24 episodes, thus making it a real-time chronicle of a single day. Read the rest of this entry
…can it
American soccer fans who only pay attention to the sport the rest of the world calls football for a few weeks every couple of years, I’m here to remind you that your time is coming…in over a year…but the countdown has begun…really, really early…
Soon…ish, you will spontaneously begin to care about a sport you barely notice and will probably continue to barely notice as soon as the U.S. starts to do poorly.
I bring it up because this week, the instrument of audible torture was unveiled this week. You may recall, or possibly actually still be hearing, the infamous vuvuzela of 2010. Read the rest of this entry
…always pay your debts
I know sometimes it can seem that our elected representatives are spending more time campaigning and disagreeing with each other than actually following through on the promises they made to get them into the offices where they are. It can be frustrating and downright bleak at times.
So why not check in on our appointed officials? No. Not the Supreme Court Justices. I speak of those overseas. What valiant fights are our U.S. ambassadors pursuing?
Well, I can’t speak for all of them, but Down Under, one man is fighting to rid the Seven Kingdoms of piracy. Sounds like a noble cause, no? Almost too noble?
Fear not lords and ladies, our ambassador to Australia is calling for an end to pirating of the show “Game of Thrones.”
It’s not enough that they must endure the never-ending blood bath that is the continent of Westeros, must they also lose their dignity to the crime of illegal downloading?
One might be deterred from this course of thought by the fact that HBO has taken a rather indifferent stance on the subject. In fact, the network that gave primetime life (at a premium) to the Starks, Lannisters, Baratheons, and Targaryens alike, may have even implied a certain level of compliment in this egregious crime, but let that not deter your justice sir.
This villainy must be brought to an end, but first some advice. Do what you must, but under no circumstances touch Khaleesi’s dragons…it will not end well.
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TIME: U.S. Ambassador Calls for End to ‘Game of Thrones’ Pirating
…bi-daily smile…
…gnome if you want to
It’s occurred to me in recent days that 2WC has been slacking on one of our sworn duties as founding members of the AGTF (Anti-Gnome Task Force…of course) So first, I must apologize for sleeping on the job.
Next I must applaud those who have stayed vigilant as we let the lawn ornaments have a free pass. Not all were turning a blind eye on the gnome crisis, threatening our nation’s lawns. Some have been doing their duty as we let the little demons roam free.
A woman in Florida was recently asked to remove all statues from her front lawn or face a fine of $100/month from her neighborhood’s homeowner’s association. A small price to pay for the safety of the greater good.
In addition to the evil dwarf, her lawn was populated by a stone angel, pelican, and a few egrets. I shudder to think what may have befallen us all if the little demon had been able to bring the winged statuary over to the dark side.

…the gnome zombie apocalypse…are you prepared?
Props and thanks to the nosy…I mean vigilant…head of the neighborhood association who spotted this community danger and nipped it in the bud. Thank goodness they were able to see past their own lawn adornments (an ornamental fountain and cat statue apparently…classy) in order banish this threat from their neighbor’s lawn before anyone was injured.
Where would we all be with out the care of our neighbors? Who knows, but the gnomes would, they always do. Stay vigilant.
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TIME: Code Police! 6 Things That May Surprisingly Be Banned in Your Front Yard
…bi-daily smile…
For those wondering what inspired this gnome-eradicating crusade, just watch…and take notes…nowhere is safe:
For those who’ve forgotten, tomorrow is Mother’s Day. Also, shame on you. But not to worry, you still have a few hours to correct the situation.

