I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s been a lot of talk about apocalyptic conspiracy theories going around.
With birds falling from the sky and fish washing up on shores across the globe, people are dealing the best way they know how…looking it up on the Internet.
Type “dead birds” into your search engine and along with a link to the IMDB page for the 2004 horror/thriller/western by the same name, you’ll get a whole long list of articles about random and unrelated animal die-offs.
If you keep searching you’ll find that these die-offs are a lot more common than people realize.
But that just puts a damper on the “aflockalypse” (catchy, but cheesy, and driving my spell check nuts). That, and the fact that nowhere in scripture does it say anything about birds falling from the sky signaling the end of days.
However, it is that kind of rational thinking that ruins perfectly good fear mongering…so let’s consider another possibility…
Aflockalypse 2011: Death By Not So Swift Wings
In a world gone mad with bird deaths, millions of heroes rise to the challenge.
Driven by the desire to know and connect everything, our heroes collectively take to their smartphones to unlock the natural mysteries of our world.
Their new-found Google powered detective skills have made them experts on the (non-existent) connections between completely unrelated naturally occurring morbid phenomenons.
They will not settle for logical conclusions, only confirmations of worst-case scenario, apocalyptic theories. Thus, their journey is eternal.
I’m sure if they just keep digging there’s got to be something out there about humanity wiping itself out with hysterics and smartphone technology. Here’s hoping.
“Technology To Blame for Animal Die-Off Panic”: MSNBC
“Showers of Blackbirds Air Out Conspiracy Theories”: MSNBC